gettin' hitched

So. I am getting married. It sometimes seems weird just to say it out loud. I didn't ever imagine what my life would be like "married" I was never a girl who dreamed of her big wedding day. I wasn't sure if I would be the "marrying kind" In fact I did my honours thesis on the social practice of monogamy and found that it didn't work for most people I talked to!
However I fell in love with a wonderfully kind, smart, and funny person. And eventually I started warming up to this idea of marriage. I found someone who I could imagine marrying and spending the rest of my days with and I liked the idea! But yet I still feel conflicted. Marriage has such a history of sexism and controling women that I don't care to think about it most days. Marriage started from a place where women were men's property passed on from their father to the next man that would have them. I feel like if I am truly a feminist I wouldn't even be considering this idea of marriage. I should be happy living in my common law world where all is well and equal! If I enter into the land of marriage would that mean I was supporting this partriarchal insitution???!!! Could I really be a wife?
Then I started looking on the world wide web. There are so many young feminists out there struggling with these same identity paradigms. Some say don't do it, stay away from marriage because you are supporting status quo partriarchy. Others encourage women to model the equality in their marriages to other women to show equal marriage does exist!
I think it is all about finding our own ground. Being a feminist is about supporting women to do what is best for them, whatever that may be. It is about supporting women to make their own choices! It is about women having choices! I don't want to judge other women because they get married or not. I want to support each and every feminist where ever she is at and I want to feel supported by my fellow feminists. One of the many amazing aspects of feminism is that as women we have the forum to debate anything and everything in our lives. Marriage is no exception. So let the debate rage on but lets remember that in the end we are still sisters fighting much the same fight!
So for me personally I will always feel a bit "pulled" in each direction. However I want to get married to the person I love. So I will. And in the face of patriarchy I will keep my last name! Say it loud, say it proud: I am a feminist and I am getting married.